A Perfect Man
by Mr.Who2123
Summary: When two caravaners are after the same woman, they have to be perfect to get her attention... A super short oneshot. First humor fic, please R&R!


A Perfect Man

One-shot: Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles

Mr.Who2123: Hello everyone! I'm Mr.Who2123, and this is (I hope) a humorous one-shot about some caravaners after the meteor parasite had been destroyed. Enjoy! This is my first humor fic, so please be nice!

Raiden: Enjoy!

-.-.-.-.-

The light of the crystal reflected off of the sun lit the people around the crystal making them seem to glow like heavenly beings. One of these beings was a seasoned warrior, scars colored his body under the cover of his clothes. A large blade hung at his side and a shield on his back. He held his hand on his heart, his eyes closed and his body motionless. His golden hair shifted in the breath of wind, but it did not disturb the Clavat at all.

"We will hold a crystal journey to honor the warriors that brought light to our world," an elderly man announced. "I shall announce the ones that will honor us! The captain; Raiden." The warrior stepped forward, his eyes firmly fixed on the village elder.

"I will carry out my duty," Raiden replied, and he stepped back into line.

"We will also have Nanaki, Leanah, and Frott as members of the caravan crew this year."

Nanaki was a tall, brown haired Clavat on his first trip on a caravan. A headband covered his forehead and was merely inches from his eyes. A weak, thin blade was sheathed and a family shield hung on his back. He held no scar, and he was eager to begin his first journey.

"I will carry out these orders," Nanaki replied with a big grin.

Leanah was a beautiful Selkie; she was not too concealing, yet not too modest. Her long blue hair was tied loosely on the end and her pan…stick…thingy was on her back.

"I shall carry out your orders," she said as well and stepped back.

Frott doesn't matter. I just wanted four people, so I'll tell you he's a Lilty and he has no helmet. He said the same thing as the ones before and stepped back.

(Side Note: It won't get funny 'till later.)

All of the villagers waved goodbye as the caravan members set off with full hearts and ready minds. During the ride to River Belle Path, everyone got to know each other better.

"I'm Raiden, and I've been on caravans for 15 years. I want you to make sure that because this is your first time, you should pay some heed to my instructions. I don't want any of you to get hurt…or die," he said. The whole time, he had an eye on Leanah. He thought she was very beautiful and really wanted to be her boyfriend.

It was Nanaki's turn.

"I'm Nanaki and I'm ready to kill some monsters!" he said, and then it was Leeanah's turn. Truth be told, he liked Leanah too…uh-oh…this won't turn out very good! Everyone had their eyes on her as she spoke, melting at every word she said.

"I'm Leanah and I just moved here from Lanari Desert. This is my first time fighting so I'll be sure to listen to Raiden!" she said. She smiled at Raiden who practically blew up with love. Nanaki glared at Raiden.

_He won't take my girl,_ he thought angrily, his head hot enough to boil broccoli.

Frott didn't speak. He was…uh…feeding the papaopamous.

As everyone was walking, Nanaki went next to Raiden, steaming.

"You get away from my girl. She's mine!" he hissed. Raiden smirked at Nanaki.

"I'm not stealing her, she just happens to like me more than you," he replied calmly. Nanaki's head began to burn again. If this was a cartoon, he'd have a pot on his head and would be roasting marshmallows too.

"She wouldn't like an old fart like you anyways," Nanaki replied, regaining his composure.

"WHAT did you…just…say!?" Raiden yelled, turning towards this amateur.

"OLD FART!!!" Nanaki screeched back, smiling wide. Raiden seethed, but it was HOTTER than Nanaki's head.

"Well, who would want a gay headband?" he replied, thinking of the best diss he could make.

"I happen to LIKE my headband, and it's better than you!" he yelled.

"GAY HEADBAND GAY HEADBAND! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Raiden yelled at Nanaki. Nanaki turned away, tired of the argument, and ready to try and woo over Leanah.

He saw Leanah with Frott.

"Hey Leanah, would like to get dome drinks with me?" he asked coolly. She folded her arms and looked away.

"I would never go out with someone as mean as you! I heard what you said about Raiden and it's not nice!" she stalked away. Raiden was watching and laughed at poor Nanaki.

Later that day, Raiden found Leanah alone eating. He inched closer and smiled at her.

"Hey Leanah, mind if I eat with you?" he asked. Leanah paid the EXACT same treatment to Raiden.

"You were mean to Nanaki, and I don't like that! I never want to eat with you!" she said. Raiden sighed. It's like she has to have a perfect man with her. Nanaki was laughing at Raiden from the sidelines.

-.-.-.-.-

The next day was fresh and both boys were ready to apologize for Leeanah's love. Raiden came up to Leanah just as Nanaki did too. They both saw something that they feared most.

Leanah was with Frott, and they were together and laughing.

Leanah made a face at the two.

"I don't want to be with someone who has a gay headband or is an old fart," she said, and she walked off with Frott, who just smirked back at them.

"The world has crushed my heart," Raiden said.

"I'm going to crush that FROTT!" Nanaki yelled and ran off after the two.

"Wait! I want to place ultimate revenge on him too!" he yelled and they both ran after the 'perfect man.'

-.-.-.-.-

Mr.Who2123: I have a terrible feeling that wasn't funny. It was funny when my brother and I made it up though. Well, comments and humor suggests GREATLY appreciated.


End file.
